i have become a fan of the youngest star~

she's just so adorable. awww...

after 10 days in OPD...

...i'm starting to love it all.

the hustle.. the bustle..
the way the day just flies by coz you are too busy to count each second passing by.

i like the sense of accomplishment
when i'm finished with a basket and send it on to the next station.
when i see the whole mountain of baskets stacked up cleared!
angin taufan gone!

i marvel at the way the dispensers and pharmacists seem to know the exact location of all the drugs!

i've seen some counsel too. and oh i would so love to be their patient.. their counseling is so clear! and they even cover every single aspect possible that the patients might not be sure of without the patient even having to ask.

i see them handle the patients some which i really wana just cekek them and bang their head against the wall or something.. so rude my goodness and their patience is astounding! the way they handle queries, or seem to know exactly which medication need blue card or consultant/specialist signature blah blah.. the way they scold doctors... waaa... can i be like that one day?

some patients are so full of themselves, saying loudly that they know everything so the pharmacist ma shuddup and just give them the drug lo.. since is another medical profession taking the drug, then asking about minute details like the dose which is already written clearly for them to see.

some patients are so cute though. makes you dunno wana laugh or what. yet you can clearly see their ernestness in wanting to do it right.

i think i didn't choose the wrong proffesion.

i seriously got a lot to learn though.

patience. especially! haha.. how to control my temper towards some difficult.. demanding.. rude.. obnoxious... those that if eyes could kill i would be rotting in jail right now punya... patients.

counseling.. i even confuse myself. sigh..

more knowledge.. i still dunno what's for what and all the pre- and post- prandial advice.. interactions.. some drugs just look plain weird.

where everything is..

basically everything.

i think i must have made quite a few mistakes today like forgetting to cross off some drugs which are given full or filling in their blue card when dispensing or writing the number of times to sapu on those creams or forgetting to check for SPUB when screening and god knows what else.

hope didn't hoi any patient too bad. sigh.. patients should be protected from people like me.

anyhow, i vow to do my best! i will de.

one day i will be like them.=]

i hope.

i'd better.

a new trick. eheehee...

i'm so delighted! feel like an over-excited little girl a wise scientist who finally makes a new finding. now i can add a whole new level of shit meaning into my words. i'm so proud of myself! *pats myself on the back* snooty grin

blog hopping

i don't usually do that, in fact, wasn't really intending to do that. but somehow, some titles caught my attention, then some names i know.. and it really opened my eyes. gave me some new insight.

sometimes i'm so caught up in my own slugging/joys/sorrow.. i forget that everyone also have their own story to share, their sadness behind their smile. the world is filled with all kinds of people with all kinds of experiences. there's much to learn. and sometimes you find that you're not alone. some have been thru the same things and are still surviving. and sometimes when u read, u get a glimpse of their feelings, you feel their pain, you laugh along with them, u see a chapter of life unfolding, and u see them grow, even when they might not even realise it themselves. and in looking at their lifes and insight, u grow too. it's like looking in through a peephole and seeing bits of life sometimes similar, sometimes different from what you might ever experience.

here are some of the stuff which left an impact on me...

The Sun is Smiling~ by Phaik Leng

Of the many departments in the hospital, I always thought that maternity ward is the happiest place to be in. Over the visiting hours, you will see a vast of smiling faces. And these are usually the new parents or grandparents, or even close family friends. Every pair of eyes would be admiring their new little angels, all cocooned up in little blankets to keep them warm.

But, I also learnt that the happiest ward might also be a sad place for some. It was on a sunny afternoon when the ward nurse handed me a prescription for a young Indian lady. The doctor had endorsed only a list of medications for the mother, and none for the baby. In the midst of the chatters and laughters of other happy parents in the ward, I spotted the Indian lady whose prescription was in my hand. She was sitting alone on a bench, facing the small garden in between the wards. I approached her, wanting her to acknowledge my presence, but at the same time, fearing that i might be disturbing her from her deep thoughts. She seemed upset while looking at the bag of medications in my hands. I said no words as I sat down next to her. As though talking to a complete stranger, she shared a few words, "She's my second baby, and like the first one, she did not survive immediately after birth." My heart cried out for her when i listened to her. The tired eyes, the weary mood, the wrinkled face - all of which showed me how hard it was to be a mother and to conceive a baby. As I was still lost for words, she continued, "But you know, my dear, life has to go on. My babies have just gone to heaven early. And, I'm now seeing the sun smiling anew. Have you noticed it today?"

I didn't answer her. For I was dumbfounded and amazed by her spirit. She was only 32, not much older than I am; but much wiser, much mellower, much stronger in faith. I dispensed the medications to her, still overwhelmed by what she has just said. Her words echoed in my inner ear - "...I'm now seeing the sun smiling anew..." She thanked me with a wide smile, and as I left the bench, I finally told her, "Yes I have seen the sun smiling. I have seen it in your smile. I should thank you for that." I came home that day, with one message sent across my mind - at any moment of life when all we see is just darkness, start searching for the light. It is there, it's just how we perceive it. Let it shine unto us. Let it show us the way, so that we will not feel at lost.


Better in time~
It's been the longest winter
without you I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the past
I believe it And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you Yes I will

[Chorus: x2] Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

"it's not easy to live it's not easy to die also. so just hang on in the mean time." - Unknown

"sometimes things happen at the least expected time, in the least expected way. We just have to appreciate what we have today. " - Phaik Leng

The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

but I Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking

The pain I'm knowing
But these are the moments that I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

"其实很多小小的事情都足以让你开心。 只是在乎你要或不要而已。 其实也有很多事情都可以用很多角度去看。 如果你发现你往这个角度看，你活得很辛苦，那何不从另个角度出发？" - Shin Hun

"Actually I don't feel like living my life anymore... but I continue anyway" - Left anonymous to respect author's privacy

"if you have something to say, don't say it all, but say what you need to say. " - Yannee

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls

become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your

relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

"The true purpose of having problems in life, is that it makes you learn because nobody learns from a bed of roses..... No words of others should bring me down like this. Because if people say things that are meant to hurt you, then these people shouldn't matter at all in this place.

If you love, you will get hurt. And you will only learn if the hurt is great enough. It's like, it's easier to see the light at the end of the road if it's dark enough..... If you give up on yourself, then you won't be able to see or hear anyone in the crowd. And if you give up on your life, then life will not go on for you." - Yannee

dancing babies~

too cute until beh tahan. haha..

IOI mall sing k contest~

our initial agenda:

1. go sunway shopping
2. meet alap for dinner
3. go see the CHC drama
4. meet ck for yamcha then sleep at his friend's house
5. next day go support his singing competition semi-finals at IOI mall.

the final outcome:

1. lunch at sunway ZEN. a bit pricey, but nice!


while waiting for food, let's not waste time. keke..




and then it was all about F.O.O.D~





great food, great ambience, and super nice desert. i was so satisfied. the salmon didn't really live up to my expectations though. i had tasted nicer in Zanmai (albeit at a much smaller portion). the unagi was fantabulous! and so was the desert. really melts in ur mouth... (duh, it's ice cream. ice cream melts. but still, the skin was so nice and chewy but not too chewy. hehe..)



2. dinner with alap at the place famous for fried laksa. not bad. really the nicest dish there. or maybe coz the other dishes weren't that spectacular.



3. desert near Asia Cafe. with interesting beepers to let u know when ur desert is ready.



4. yam cha with ck at maulana. wow.. i really eat a lot. haha.. so far whole day the only constant factor has been Eating.


5. next day breakfast at old town white coffee. was soooo hungry.



6. after that, we went up to prepare for ck's contest. warm up was at red box just beside the sense cafe. then he had to sit in front and wait for his turn. so lonely...


good thing got friend go accompany. hehe..


meanwhile they tried persuading lin hui to join. since she could definitely sing much better than most of them.


the other two were destressing in front by taking pics~ say cheese~


finally, the final moment.


then the gals made the final decision. Join!


the 3 contestants plus one ke chuan~


while the others were cam-whoring outside awaiting the gals' turn, alap was slowly freezing to death inside since he was the jaga bag and drink guy.


and then again, it was the final moment.


the gals managed to get into the finals! congrats!


7. dinner was nice and filling.


8. finals! the song was also nice, but overall more demanding.


still, they got into the top 8! congrats!=]



after that, camwhoring outside. ^^






the judge tang xiao kang sang a few songs after that too~ i like his voice. bumped into my friend who is working for him le! such a small world. such a glamorous life too~


9. lepaking in IOI mall after the contest - heading for food~


10. food at wong kok! really a bread feast~ and waffles too!;p



plus a lot of fun and laughter~



and a fat cute BB~



11. last but not least, gui ning gao before we all left for home. too heaty dy these few days, until my nose can breathe fire. but then again, as alap said, when xiao lao shi hear my mandarin she will pengsan. haha..

first day at work...

the saddest thing is that when i reported to JKN... i was the only fool who obediently reported on the date they said. everyone else had come up with all sort of excuses like no letter yet or kena cari rumah. so well...

then to the biro.. kena lambasted for wanting hosp seremban. the exact words running along the lines of..

'still young must go further ma! anak manja! must work outside rumah wan ah?! jauh sikit pun tak boleh!'

'ibu buat apa? guru? guru banyak cerewat punya! ingat mereka boss di sekolah then boss everywhere! so demanding!!'

wth.. insult me, then insult my parents... i learnt a new art - grinding my teeth while smiling. the only thought of consolation was that i'll be getting my pay while she blasted on.

then when i finally reached HTJ, (i was told anyone entering the hosp now must wear mask) so i waited there in the pharmacy office with my mask on, and no one wanted to talk to me.:( i guess it's hard to appear friendly when all they can see is ur eyes. smiley eyes anyone? so well...

then they were thinking of where to dump me. someone shouted... OPD la! then she can cover for raya. apparently everyone thought that was a great idea. coincidentally, TDM was full dy too (i dun wana do TDM yet anyway. so scaryyyy~ i even heard whispers of CDR~~~~ yikes! of course, OPD is known to be the most stressful session where everyone need to be QUICK! ACCURATE! EFFICIENT! no time or space for any error or delay) i was told to report to OPD where i will toil for 2 months. so well..

i went there. all drug names looked familiar yet alien. hmmm... i've seen this before somewhere... (i knew that phrase would haunt me someday. should have out-grown it whilst i was still in uni). i stood around (sort of like when time stands still - picture person standing in a room while everything/one else whizzes past around person), then it was 5pm! yay.. i thought.. punch out time. mana tau... suddenly i was told... LABEL! huh? i tried to look as blank as my mind felt. U! YES U! i looked around.. helplessly? U DUNO ENGLISH?!! err... yeah... i'm the new prp (wth, i just got here half an hour ago..) YA I'M TRAINING U NOW! err.. ok.. i fumbled with the boxes. the dosage and dosing instructions didn't seem to tally. before or after food? how la i noe?? i think my brain really degenerated. finally, he did it himself. PATIENT ALSO DIE DY LO!!! WHERE R U FROM? LEARN NOTHING WAN?? imu... i said in undertones.. he gave me a look that said... NO WONDER... sighz... he talked to me and another prp before we left for the day (at 6pm, one hour after fong gong).. he's quite nice actually. just shouts when there's a lot of work to be done. i have a lot to learn... brain... where r u??

my verdict?
OPD, 2 months.
i'm dead.